Things I’ve Never Heard …

I’ve never – in 14 years of working with stepfamilies – heard anyone say:
“I wish we’d gotten married quicker!”
… but I’ve heard over a hundred times:
“I wish we’d waited a little longer!”
Rushing into a second or third marriage (or a first one for that matter) is not a good idea. What’s the hurry? If your sweety is right, they’ll wait and it’ll be better – if they’re not the right one, better to find out before the wedding!

I’ve never heard anyone say:
“I’m sorry I stuck with my stepkids.”
… but I’ve heard many say:
“I’m sorry I gave up on them.”
Giving up on the stepkids, no matter how mean they are, is almost as hard on you as it is on them. Their tests are to see if you are tough enough and sincere enough for them to trust you. If you quit, you fail.

I’ve never heard anyone say:
“I’m glad I ran out on my marriage.”
… but I’ve heard many say:
“I’m so glad we stuck together through the tough times.”
You and everyone who knows you will remember your failure if you surrender. You will either come out of this as a hero or a zero.

Granted, if you are the victim of someone else’s weakness, you are not to be blamed. Especially if you fought for your marriage and your family, you can hold your head up. But if you just throw in the towel because “they’re mean to me!” then you are … well, did you solemnly vow to remain faithful and true to your mate at the wedding? If you did promise and you’re walking out on your promise … what do they call people who do that?
I forget.

Stick with it! Your family is counting on you. You are counting on you. When you are 75, sitting in a rocking chair, you’ll wish you had stuck with it! Do it!

STEPcoach, Bob Collins


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