I heard it again this last week:
“I’m turning into my mother, the way I’m acting with my kids!“
And, as I usually do, I asked, “Is that good or bad?“
And I got the typical answer: “I don’t know. Some ways good, but others bad.”
We are so often so tied up in worrying that we’ll harm our children and stepchildren that anything seems dangerous. If we punish too severely, we’re afraid we’ll warp them; if we’re too lenient, we’re afraid we’ll spoil them. Then there’s the fear of the horrible DHS knocking at the door to confuse everything!
With all these concerns about how we raise our kids, the most personally upsetting is the fear that we’ll turn into your own parents. Why is this so dreadful? Maybe it’s because we’ll feel like liars or imbeciles if we go back on that vow we made at age 16 that “I’ll never be like you!” Or maybe it’s because we’re secretly afraid our kids will turn out to be just like us with their kids!
Back then, they were the enemies, or at least the watcher to be outwitted and out done! But the situation is very different now that we are the parents – the jailers, the spoilers of fun. And the question has to be asked:
Were we wrong ‘way back then? Were our parents actually right in all their rules and regulations that cramped our style? Were we as dimwitted as our kids seem to be sometimes? We sure felt smart at 16, didn’t we?
So here’s the question for you:
Are you becoming like your parents? and
Is that good or bad?
Let’s brainstorm a bit. Click on the “comments” link below this post and tell us if you’ve followed your parents’ lead or if you’ve gone another direction. Then tell us a little of why you’ve done which ever.
I’ll give you a week to enter your thoughts, then we’ll digest them and see what they all mean.
See you in a week,